I loved being a mother...
After he died, I wanted to know if he existed, where he existed, if he were happy. It became an obsession with me. I had to know. No sounds came from his tree fort in the back woods, and I wanted to know where he was. Each day that went by, I felt he was getting further away from me. I had to find some meaning in the event of his leaving me. I read and studied. I devoured everything I could find about the subject of dying and the hereafter. I felt he would get some message to me no matter where he was, because I knew we loved one another.
One time when I was feeling particularly sad, I thought he put his arms around me and told me not to cry that everything would be alright. Later, when I thought about it I thought it must have been my imagination. I started to have dreams about him. One time I saw him as a young boy walking along whistling, with a fishing rod over his shoulder and a dog walking next to him. He walked through a small doorway, and said I could not enter.
There were many unusual things that started to happen to me. The thought occurred to me that my son was in my life keeping in touch with me, though I was not always aware of him. After a long string of events, he started to talk to me and tell me what it was like where he was. He told me about lectures that he went to and how he was learning. He could also enjoy what went on here in the world. He told me he went to a concert and sat on a fat womanís lap, though she was unaware of him. He must have thought this was great fun because he had to expend a lot of effort to be able to buy a ticket for a concert that he liked when he was here.
He told me about our lifetimes together that we shared in the past. He told me we were twin souls., and had agreed to do this work before we came into this lifetime. Initially it wasnít decided who would be on this side of life and who would be on that side getting information together to give to the world. He told me he decided I should be here because I could type faster than him.
When you lose someone you love, it isnít easy. However, I can tell you that at some point, you will remember the good times of your relationship without crying at the loss. If you can get to that point, you can go within and maybe your loved one can commune with you. There is a doorway to this planetary system and it is possible your loved one has gone through that doorway to develop to another level. But if they are here and you can calm your passions to the peace of the moment, you may be able to see eye to eye. It is very similar to meditating. Somehow I have gotten to that moment and we speak. He travels with me and he writes with me to pass along the information that is on this website. My wish is that you gain from the effort, and if you have lost a loved one, may you remember the joy of them and not the pain of their passing.
A mother's story about the loss of a child.